Relationship Expert and Certified Sexuality Educator
When I was starting out in my career, we always talked about lubes as a problem solver.
Sure, we knew that people used lubes for fun, but the focus always seemed like it was on problem-prevention, rather than pleasure. Well thankfully, it's time to talk about how lubes can enhance your sex life, not just provide a "fix." So that being said, the days of clinical-looking, problem-solving, super sticky personal lubricants are over. And it's about time, because as we all know (or at least we should now know) lubes make sex better. Lubes are a sex accessory. And if sex was good for you before, imagine how good it could be now.
Dispelling the Lube Myths:
Many people think that lubricants are either for women who have vaginal dryness, have had a baby, or are menopausal. Guess what? That's not true. Lubes are used throughout our lives, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. And lubricants don't mean anything about you other than you like to have the best sex possible
Bringing Lubes to Your Relationship:
But if you are a novice in the lube department, you may be wondering: "How do I incorporate this lube into my sex life if we've never used one before?" Fair question. There are two ways to tackle this. Do you want it to be a sexy surprise that hints at what's to come, or do you want to do some shopping together? There are benefits to both.
If it is a surprise, imagine how excited your partner will be to know that there is sex -- good sex -- in the near future.
You can leave the package on his or her pillow or on top of the nightstand.
If it's a joint shopping trip, you both get to choose the lube that whets your appetite. You get to choose the one that looks and feels most appealing. And consider how sexy shopping for sex products can be: It means that you have to talk about what you want your lube to do. You have to ask your partner if he or she wants continuous silkiness or continued warmth or long-lasting arousal. How do you want it? See, I told you, talking about sex is exciting and it makes shopping exciting, too!
But keep in mind that lubes aren't just for partnered sex. Lubricants can be a great addition to solo sex. You can have a variety of lubes for any or all of your intimate experiences. There is no one way to use lubricants -- there are many options, it's just up to you.
A Quickie on Using Lube
Lube isn't just for intercourse, it makes for great foreplay, too. Rub some between your fingers and use it to stimulate yourself or your partner. You can put it on the clitoris, labia, the perineum (his or hers), anus, breasts - basically, you can use lube anywhere you'd like.
You can also use lube in place of massage oil. Put some on your hands and rub them together if you want to warm it up.
If you're using condoms1 (and many people should be), you can add some lube to the outside tip of the condom as well as inside the tip. This way, both partners benefit.
Lube is great for changing up your masturbatory routine. It can offer you a different experience, regardless of your partner status.
But of course, if you want to use lube, you're going to have to keep it handy. Think about all the options: your nightstand, a pocketbook, in a travel bag. Keep it accessible -- you never know when you may want it.
7 Reasons Lube Can Rev Up Your Sex Life
Sex comes in different positions for a reason. Sometimes you want a little diversity. The quickest way to get some variety in your sex life is to try some lubricant. It can offer a range of erotic experiences. They come in different textures and sensations, ensuring that every sexual encounter is different and exciting.
Because sometimes there is dryness. We may not like to talk about it, but sometimes we don't lubricate enough on our own. It's not a problem, it's just the way it is sometimes. Other times, hormonal contraceptives, stress, and different life stages can lead to vaginal dryness. I know that personal lubricant doesn't sound like a sexy term, but it's time to reframe that. Even if you find yourself needing lube, think of how meaningful that is to a partner. You're saying that you want sex to be as enjoyable as possible. In fact, according to a recent study from The Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, women who used lubricants during sex reported significantly higher levels of satisfaction and pleasure2. Good partners don't want unfulfilling experiences, they want to maximize them.
Spontaneous Bedroom Romps:
There are times when you need a little help revving up your body. Lubes prime you for sex, even if you're not officially ready yet. Sometimes our body doesn't cooperate with our mind. With lubes, we don't have to wait for our bodies to play catch up.
We know (thanks to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behaviors, 2010) that couples have a varied sex life and engage in many different types of sex: vaginal, oral, and anal. If you and your partner are considering adding a little variety to your bedroom repertoire, lubricants are a must.
Looking for a little enhancement in the bedroom? Who isn't. Lubes can make sex more pleasurable. And you know why? Smooth, silky, slippery sex feels good. We like our hair to be smooth and silky, why not our sex lives?
Touch and Be Touched:
Who needs massage oil when you have lube? Massage can make for great foreplay -- or it can be a wonderful way to enjoy some intimate, non-sexual time with your partner. Lube has an advantage over massage oils -- you can't use oils with your condoms3, so if your massage may lead to sex, lube is definitely your best option.
Lengthen Your Bedroom Experience:
When you're using lube, time is on your side. Lube makes sex last longer, when reapplying, and sometimes you want it that way. Without lube, even the hottest sexual encounters can become dry as sex progresses. If you want sex to last, try adding some lube.1 Trojan™ Lubricants are compatible with natural rubber latex and polyisoprene condoms. Not compatible with polyurethane or other condoms. 2 Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Hensel, D., Sanders, S., Jozkowski, K. and Fortenberry, J. D. (2011), Association of Lubricant Use with Women's Sexual Pleasure, Sexual Satisfaction, and Genital Symptoms: A Prospective Daily Diary Study. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 8: 202â€“212. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.02067.x 3 Trojan™ Lubricants are compatible with natural rubber latex and polyisoprene condoms. Not compatible with polyurethane or other condoms.